You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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