Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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