I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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