I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
