My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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