I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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