The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
