fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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