i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
