Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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