so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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