i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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