guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize