I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
