We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
