I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
