i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
