So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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