walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
last night I used snow as a chaser
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
im on a boat
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