super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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