she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize