I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
