Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
