you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
