Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
