Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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