just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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