dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I party with great urgency now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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