Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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