Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
