other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
