I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His nipple licking is glorious
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