Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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