i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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