he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
