oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
false alarm, still single
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
