Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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