So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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