other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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