So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
