You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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