we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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