"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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