WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
