That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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