the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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