I didn't shave. On purpose
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
