Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
