mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize