It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i don't like sucking hair
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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