There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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