I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
is that a dick in a sweater?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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