So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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